Truly a work in progress

 

So, I’ve spent the majority of the past four months buried under quite a bit of research on stuttering and its affects on people of all ages. My emphasis was children and adolescents, but I found a few studies done of adults who were asked if any experiences they had during school stayed with them. I’m only about a third of the way finished with my research, but I figured I’d put some of my most remarkable findings up here.

There were many times during this semester that I wanted to e-mail my professor and tell her that I needed to change my research topic. Coming into this semester, I had various interests that I had assumed I’d be choosing from. However, the more she spoke about how the topic would follow us for the better part of a year and a half…well, my previous ideas held no appeal for me. While I am SO interested in hearing about the studies my colleagues are conducting, I would never want to spend the next 18 months looking into technology in the classroom, or differentiated curriculum, ELL students, or even how participation in athletics helps students. After realizing this, I came to the conclusion that the only thing that would keep my interest would be something that had a profound impact on my education and life. And the only thing that meets that criteria, for me, is my fluency disorder.

So, with knowing some of that, I’ll give you some of the most interesting and, at times, most disheartening findings I’ve come across this semester.

• Fluency disorders have the potential to feature psychological conflict, such as wanting to voice opinions but being fearful of disfluencies, regardless if the surface features like facial spasms are present or not.
• A study completed in 2001 found that children are able to recognize “stuttering-like disfluencies” as early as 3 years old. Children begin to view these “stuttering-like disfluencies” negatively between the ages of 4 and 5.
• The three personality traits of shame, self-consciousness, and locus of control orientation are more commonly found in stutterers than fluent speakers.
• Many children who stutter do not understand what is happening when they stutter. Often, parents and teachers ignore the “problem”. Teachers and parents believe that either the child will grow out of the stuttering stage or that the child is nervous.
• Many teachers confess that they do not know how to react to a student who stutters. Should they finish the word? Should they have them read out loud, or allow them to skip their turn? Is it okay to call on them randomly to answer?
• Sadly, some students feel that their teachers tire of their attempts at class participation because of stuttering.
• At age 5, 88% of children would rather befriend a fluent child than one who stutters.
• Children enrolled in speech therapy tend to characterize “bad talking” based on fluency and articulation. Children who have no history of speech or fluency disorders often characterize “bad talking” based on content, volume, or frequency. (My professor wrote “wow” in the margins next to that finding. I’m not exactly sure what the wow is about, but I agree. Wow.)
• The attitude of the “average stuttering child” was more negative than 99% of his or her fluent peers.

So there is a lot of stuff that was in my lit review that I didn’t put up here. Honestly, I just don’t feel like looking at my lit review until I absolutely have to…in a couple of weeks. It’s been a LOT of work. A ton, really. And on June 25, I’ll (officially) begin the next phase of research. However, I’ll be researching for the majority of June. And if you were wondering which articles I’ve read and used so far, here is the reference list:

Bajaj, A., Hodson, B., & Westby, C. (2005). Communicative ability conceptions among children who stutter and their fluent peers: A aualitative exploration. Journal of Fluency Disorders, 30(1), 41-64.

Bernardini, S., Vanryckeghem, M., Brutten, G. J., Cocco, L., & Zmarich, C. (2009). Communication attitude of Italian children who do and do not stutter. Journal of Communication Disorders, 42(2), 155-161.

Brutten, G & Vanryckeghem M. (2007). Behavior Assessment Battery for school=age children who stutter. San Diego, CA: Plural Publishing, Inc.

Craig, A. R., Franklin, J.A., & Andrews, G. (1984). A scale to measure locus of control of behavior. British Journal of Medical Psychology, 57, 173-180.

Ezrati-Vinacour, R., Platzky, R., & Yairi, E. (2001). The young child’s awareness of stuttering-like disfluency. Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 44(2), 368-80.

Ginsberg, A. P. (2000). Shame, Self-consciousness, and locus of control in people who stutter. Journal of Genetic Psychology, 161(4), 389.

Hearne, A., Packman, A., Onslow, M., & Quine, S. (2008). Stuttering and its treatment in adolescence: The perceptions of people who stutter. Journal of Fluency Disorders, 33(2), 81-98.

Klompas, M., & Ross, E. (2004). Life experiences of people who stutter, and the perceived impact of stuttering on quality of life: personal accounts of South African individuals. Journal of Fluency Disorders, 29(4), 275-305.

Messenger, M., Onslow, M., Packman, A., & Menzies, R. (2004). Social anxiety in stuttering: Measuring negative social expectancies. Journal Of Fluency Disorders, 29(3), 201-212.

Mulcahy, K., Hennessey, N., Beilby, J., & Byrnes, M. (2008). Social anxiety and the severity and typography of stuttering in adolescents. Journal of Fluency Disorders, 33(4), 306-319.

Anyway, I’ll be volunteering for a scholarship donation night at the University of Portland (go Pilots!). Friday night I’ll be working until around 9, but I believe this weekend something interesting will be happening concerning me as a stutterer.

I will keep y’all posted as I find out more info. I’m also in the process of packing, looking for a new apartment, and moving…so things are a littttttle bit hectic at the moment. But we all know I’m not the most reliable poster anyway. Y’all take care!

Long time, no updates.

Hey y’all. I know I really suck at this whole updating a blog thing. Trust me, I’ve tried it a couple times…and I always end up giving it up. This time, however, I could not figure out how to log back in to wordpress, so I just gave up after awhile. But I sorta stumbled upon it…who knows if I’ll be able to find it again later.

Anyway, I wanted to let you(whoever is reading) know that I will be updating this! Soon, actually! I am in the final steps of writing the first draft of my literature review. Let me tell you…the research that has been done on stuttering and education is amazing. Even more amazing is the research done on stuttering and anxiety. Sometimes, it depresses me, I’m not going to lie. But I’ll update with a total recap of everything I’ve learned so far after I turn in my paper (btw, it’s due tomorrow and I still have MAJOR work and editing to do…prayers? please!). So I’ll update tomorrow night or Sunday.

-emily.

Let’s get started.

I’m getting really excited about starting my research on my capstone. Since deciding on my research topic, I’ve done a number of things.

First, I posted a quick status on Facebook asking all of my friends who are SLPs or studying to be SLPs what the legalities are with studying a student who stutters. After receiving information from a few people, one of my lifelong best friends got in touch with me to ask me what I was doing and catch up. She then told me that she is planning a research poster on the emotional effects of stuttering for the ASHA conference taking place this November in Atlanta. She then asked whether or not I would be interested in partnering up and presenting with her this November.

How awesome is that? I would absolutely love to do that. That would be so, so great.

Not so easy.

So, I was all adamant about being open and honest about stuttering. I wasn’t going to be nervous about speaking up or voicing my opinions. Nope. I wasn’t going to care what people think of me.

Except that that’s much harder than I ever imagined. It’s much more difficult to change an outlook on life that’s been built over the course of 22 years. Now, I’m not saying that I don’t participate in conversations that take place around me and that type of thing. Of course not. I majored in History, minored in Political Science, and completed a concentration in Secondary Education during my undergrad years. Education course mandated student participation…many times with us teaching various portions of lessons. We had to speak up. And I was absolutely fine with that…if I wasn’t, I would have had to change my career goals. I also remember some of my most discussion centered Political Science courses as my favorite classes I’ve ever taken.

So I don’t mind speaking in an academic setting most of the time. Even more so if you put me in a political science discussion. I’ve always been able to take part in those for some reason. I think it’s because I am confident that I know what I’m talking about and my points are valid and have merit. I’m not so sure of my standing within my graduate school courses. So my classes this week were full of moments of nervousness and feelings of being unsure.

Honestly, my stuttering has been much more pronounced in the past several months than it had been in years. Sure, I always had “bad days” as far as my fluency goes, but nothing like what has been going on recently. I know that it’s because I just moved to Portland and I just began a new school. I’m aware that my apprehension levels have been constantly elevated lately. It’s just unfortunate because I’m meeting so many new people and I wish I had an easier time introducing myself. I don’t even want to think about what people must think when I struggle to get my name out during introductions.

I know that I’m just venting. But I needed some sort of outlet. I’m going to keep pushing through. Keep the faith, and pray that things improve.

-emily.

Welcome to my life :)

Hey y’all! My name is Emily. I’m 22 years old.  I have very strong beliefs and opinions on just about everything. I graduated from Louisiana State University (Geaux Tigers!) in May 2011 and am now a graduate student at the University of Portland. I’m a devout Catholic and I sometimes shy away from confrontation.  I’ve stuttered for as long as I can remember. The thing is, that I’ve also tried to hide my stutter as much as possible for as long as I can remember. I’ve decided that I need to stop doing that. Stuttering is a fact of my life, and it’s not changing any time soon…obviously.

Anyone who knows me will be able to tell you that I detest stuttering. Why the sudden change? Like I said earlier, I’m a graduate student at the moment. Like every other lucky graduate student, I had to pick a research topic. I’m not going to lie…I had planned on researching the use and effectiveness of technology in Social Studies classrooms. That’s another thing, I’m a big, nerdy, History teacher(yay for History). But we were talking in class about making sure our research topic is meaningful. And important. My professor made sure to stress that it doesn’t have to be important to the education world, but it does have to be important to us. I was pretty sure that looking at the success rates of different technology techniques was pretty important, seeing as it’s how I’m planning on teaching the next generation of Americans, buuuuut…I got to thinking. In the middle of class (paying absolutely no attention to Tisha), I realized the thing or issue I worry about most is how my stuttering will be perceived by students, parents, and administrators.

After realizing that, I spoke with the other women in my class and we came to the conclusion that while it would be extremely interesting, it would be much more difficult to focus on educators who stutter. What I could do, however, is focus on how stuttering can affect a student’s educational experiences. So that’s what I’m doing. My topic has been approved and now I need to work with the SLPs in my area in convincing a parent or two to allow me to use their child in a case study. I’m sure it’s going to be difficult, because I know that my mom probably wouldn’t have wanted me to be used as a research topic, but I’ll be saying constant prayers for wisdom and guidance. Hopefully the knowledge that I am a lifelong stutterer will help alleviate any concerns that I’m up to something fishy.

I’m starting this blog for three reasons.

• I want to be able to track my progress as I work on my research.
• It’s easy to spread the word of how things are going when I’m 2600 miles away from my family and closest friends. Phone calls and text messages can only account for so much, and I usually don’t spending a lot of time explaining exactly what I’m doing in classes when I talk to people back home.
• This is the first time that I’m really trying to embrace my stuttering. I have a feeling that I’m going to need a serious outlet at some point.

I’m not really planning on many people reading this blog. But if you are, great! It’s nice to meet you, and I hope you have a great day.

-emily.